“Gaining a Brother”
Growing up it wasn’t a chaotic house hold with several siblings, cats, dogs, and horses that hinted mine was a non nuclear family. It was a basic concept taught by my parents that our family tree branches out farther than immediate siblings. This concept showed that people, who were once strangers, could become important family members; it rocked the boat of the traditional family myth.
One particular addition to my family tree, ending with one of the worst tragedies my family has ever known, brought new meaning to the concept. While my family was still in a massive upset, from my dad’s death, my brother, David, asked our mom if his 18 year old friend, Chuck, who was on bad terms with his own family, could stay with us for just a few days. Dave explained tensions in his friend’s family, reached a breaking point. One day, when he took Chuck home, they pulled up to his house to find all of his belongings in two trash bags sitting on his front porch and the front door locked. Chuck’s hypocritical family, who claimed to be so loving, sent him a clear message. Upon the discovery that he no longer had a home or a family for that matter, Chuck frantically said “I have no where to go what am I suppose to do?” Dave replied “You WILL come live with us.” Even though Dave assured that his friend was a good person, our mom was worried sick about whether or not she could help Chuck without our dad and if it wasn’t good timing for the family. Ultimately, Dave’s judgment was trusted and Chuck moved in with us.
This new character around the house quickly showed that he was unique. After all, who has the guts to approach and hit on a large group of girls all at once using an introduction of, “Hello my name’s Chuck Diggity!”? Well the very same guy who gets his self proclaimed nickname tattooed on his lower back in big bold letters D-I-G-G-I-T-Y. Chuck was one of those few people who could be an absolute trouble maker and have everyone love him for it.
In the midst of endless conflicts with his own family, Chuck learned, to become OUR brother. One learning experience happened on his 19th birthday. The day started off horribly. The only thing he received from his birth family was missionary clothing and accessories, to express their cruel disappointment that he did not go on a mission. Later on, a depressing day took a turn for the best; Chuck was walking out of the front door when our mom asked him to come into the kitchen. “Surprise!” the entire family jumped out of hiding to throw him a classic Park family birthday party. Pictures from that party do not lie; Chuck was emotional and teary eyed the entire time. Shortly after the party he finally let loose his emotions and cried over how much this simple party meant to him. Chuck told Dave “I don’t get how your family can care about me like that”.
To be part of our family, it takes more than just having us care about a person, that person, needs to care about the rest of us. It became apparent this was the case when, some of the people, Dave and Chuck hung out with started getting into the wrong things. At one point, while in a house full of druggies, Chuck got mad about cocaine being brought over. He demanded Dave leave with him. Chuck threatened the druggies, who were bigger and older than him, with choice words, that they were to never come around Dave again or he would make them regret it. Now, it was definitely clear, Chuck, would look after and protect family members, even if it meant being willing to fight a room full of druggies.
After years of being in our family, Chuck got married and then entered the Marine Corps, to give himself direction. Years of pain and trials in his life came to a climax after a devastating fight with his wife. Chuck committed suicide. The largest tragedy next to my dad’s death crushed our family. Our brother died September 5th 2006 in the desert of 29 Palms California. The words “I wish he didn’t do it” barely begin to express the feelings of remorse over this tragedy. There are in fact, no words to describe the aches and pains that my family and I feel in our hearts. The expressions of “I love him so much” and “I miss him” will have to do.
This bitter loss is an everlasting, sealing, testimony that Chuck was part of our family. My family and I could never hurt so much over someone’s death unless, that person, was indeed our brother. The bond and love that we have for Chuck will never break. He is a member of this family because of how much he will always mean to us and what we mean to him. We can’t wait to see him again.
Growing up it wasn’t a chaotic house hold with several siblings, cats, dogs, and horses that hinted mine was a non nuclear family. It was a basic concept taught by my parents that our family tree branches out farther than immediate siblings. This concept showed that people, who were once strangers, could become important family members; it rocked the boat of the traditional family myth.
One particular addition to my family tree, ending with one of the worst tragedies my family has ever known, brought new meaning to the concept. While my family was still in a massive upset, from my dad’s death, my brother, David, asked our mom if his 18 year old friend, Chuck, who was on bad terms with his own family, could stay with us for just a few days. Dave explained tensions in his friend’s family, reached a breaking point. One day, when he took Chuck home, they pulled up to his house to find all of his belongings in two trash bags sitting on his front porch and the front door locked. Chuck’s hypocritical family, who claimed to be so loving, sent him a clear message. Upon the discovery that he no longer had a home or a family for that matter, Chuck frantically said “I have no where to go what am I suppose to do?” Dave replied “You WILL come live with us.” Even though Dave assured that his friend was a good person, our mom was worried sick about whether or not she could help Chuck without our dad and if it wasn’t good timing for the family. Ultimately, Dave’s judgment was trusted and Chuck moved in with us.
This new character around the house quickly showed that he was unique. After all, who has the guts to approach and hit on a large group of girls all at once using an introduction of, “Hello my name’s Chuck Diggity!”? Well the very same guy who gets his self proclaimed nickname tattooed on his lower back in big bold letters D-I-G-G-I-T-Y. Chuck was one of those few people who could be an absolute trouble maker and have everyone love him for it.
In the midst of endless conflicts with his own family, Chuck learned, to become OUR brother. One learning experience happened on his 19th birthday. The day started off horribly. The only thing he received from his birth family was missionary clothing and accessories, to express their cruel disappointment that he did not go on a mission. Later on, a depressing day took a turn for the best; Chuck was walking out of the front door when our mom asked him to come into the kitchen. “Surprise!” the entire family jumped out of hiding to throw him a classic Park family birthday party. Pictures from that party do not lie; Chuck was emotional and teary eyed the entire time. Shortly after the party he finally let loose his emotions and cried over how much this simple party meant to him. Chuck told Dave “I don’t get how your family can care about me like that”.
To be part of our family, it takes more than just having us care about a person, that person, needs to care about the rest of us. It became apparent this was the case when, some of the people, Dave and Chuck hung out with started getting into the wrong things. At one point, while in a house full of druggies, Chuck got mad about cocaine being brought over. He demanded Dave leave with him. Chuck threatened the druggies, who were bigger and older than him, with choice words, that they were to never come around Dave again or he would make them regret it. Now, it was definitely clear, Chuck, would look after and protect family members, even if it meant being willing to fight a room full of druggies.
After years of being in our family, Chuck got married and then entered the Marine Corps, to give himself direction. Years of pain and trials in his life came to a climax after a devastating fight with his wife. Chuck committed suicide. The largest tragedy next to my dad’s death crushed our family. Our brother died September 5th 2006 in the desert of 29 Palms California. The words “I wish he didn’t do it” barely begin to express the feelings of remorse over this tragedy. There are in fact, no words to describe the aches and pains that my family and I feel in our hearts. The expressions of “I love him so much” and “I miss him” will have to do.
This bitter loss is an everlasting, sealing, testimony that Chuck was part of our family. My family and I could never hurt so much over someone’s death unless, that person, was indeed our brother. The bond and love that we have for Chuck will never break. He is a member of this family because of how much he will always mean to us and what we mean to him. We can’t wait to see him again.
Chuck is the one on the far left below.
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I'm so sorry for your loss. You have a special family to reach out and share your love with someone who needed it so badly.
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